In Episode 32 of The Holistic Nutritionists Podcast, Natalie Douglas and Kate Callaghan discuss how to stop comparing yourself to others and avoid using comparison as a guide for a happier life.

• Lessons we have learnt in 2017
• Looking forward to 2018; personal and business goals
• How to set yourself up for success in 2018
• Special offer on meal planning packages
• Info about Kate’s next HA course

Intro 0:00
Welcome to the holistic nutritionist podcast where he’ll find inspiration and answers to how you can become the healthiest, happiest version of you. Do you think whole food nutrition, smart supplementation, movement and lifestyle hacks, your host, Natalie Burke and Kate Callaghan, a degree qualified dietitians and nutritionists, certified fitness instructors, speakers and authors with extensive knowledge and clinical experience in the wellness industry. So sit back and enjoy the show.

Natalie K. Douglas 0:38
Hi, Kate, how are you?

Kate Callaghan 0:41
Good. Thank you that kind of really weird. For those of you who are joining us, we’ve got a new introduction. And we don’t need to say our usual introduction. So so we’re getting used to it. It’s just for total transparency there. We’re really flowing with that. I’m good.

Natalie K. Douglas 0:55
Yeah, I was like, Hi, how are you? I’m not.

Kate Callaghan 1:02
I’m good. Thanks, Matt. How are you?

Natalie K. Douglas 1:03
I’m really good. I’m enjoying my time off that is kind of very quickly coming to an end. I’m, I was saying just before Kate, will to you. So you would know that January is kinda like my mom to have like getting my #### together. So that’s what I’m doing. Yay.

Kate Callaghan 1:23
I’m resigned to the fact that I’ll probably never have my #### together completely. So embrace, embrace a little bit of chaos in my life and be okay with that.

Natalie K. Douglas 1:31
Yeah, I like it. Now, today, K, we’re gonna be talking about our 2017 reflections, and also having a bit of that at 2018 goals or plans or whatnot. So we’ll give you a bit of an idea about you know, that from a personal perspective, and also a business specific perspective. And maybe if we can fit in some tips and tricks for you guys in making realistic goals towards the end, will also do that. So Kate, starting off with 2017, reflections, any kind of, I don’t know, lessons learned or things you want to share or anything like that from the year that was

Kate Callaghan 2:13
2017 was a really big key for me in many ways. And obviously I had a baby. That kind of makes things a little bit different. Having a second baby, I really had to change my perspective going into that when I had Olivia, I thought everything was going to be just perfect. And it’s a big change having having a challenge. And so I had to let go of a lot of control, I had to ease more into I had to be more gentle on myself, I had to be more gentle on my children on my whole family, and not have these high expectations. And having those lower expectations and letting go that need to control and that need to have perfect, everything perfect and the end to understand because everybody’s different, you can understand everybody, as it’s really created a sense of harm in my inner in myself, but also in my family environment. And Aaron has even commented on how much more joyful I have been, I’ve actually been more happy since since the start of the year actually started the year, I mentioned that I did a lot I called it I didn’t call it a combined therapy cocktail with any Crawford from the holistic ingredient which involved Reiki and neuro linguistic programming, Emotional Freedom Technique hypnosis. And because before that I was in a pretty dark place for quite a while after I had to live here, I went into a bit of postpartum depression, and didn’t really snap properly out of it. I didn’t feel joy for a long time. And so I contacted her and she has helped me shift a lot of things around felt so much better after that. And then having aid on top of that he really bought a lot more joy in our lives. And it causes you to to reassess your values and how you see the world. And another big thing that happened for me in 2017, was getting involved with Tara essential oils. And that actually caused me to do a lot of soul searching and reflect on again, my values. And what I see is important and my why and my purpose and what I want to do in this world. And as a lot of people know, before I joined here and before I decided to build a business and do Tara and become a wellness advocate for them. And I had a bit of or a lot of resistance to the whole network marketing thing. So I had to move through that and realize that it was more due to my lack of understanding around network marketing. And in essence of it, it just involves doing when you’re buying something through network marketing, you paying your friends, rather than paying some Joe Bloggs millionaire, which is actually a really nice thing to do to help others build a business that I understand that people have a lot thrown at the resistance around it, they kind of get through it together with pyramid schemes, which are illegal, then network marketing is not a pyramid scheme. But so I had to work around that myself. So the resistance that everyone else has around it, I had that too, and had to work through that myself in order to be successful with it. And now, towards the end of the year, not only has become a business for myself, but I am helping lead other women and inspire other women and creating a business for themselves and helping to get these oils into people’s homes to empower themselves to improve their health and their wellness, but actually really surprised at how much soul searching a cause me to do and have done more personal development in past 12 months and I have in my life. Yeah, my in my 33 years of life.

Natalie K. Douglas 6:02
That’s all right, it’s still plenty of time. And like I agree, I like I think everything you said is really interesting. And just on the last thing you said in terms of like, doing a lot of soul searching this year and post no growth, I definitely feel like it’s been one of those years for me as well, via a different vehicle. But definitely, it’s like a year of of personal growth, I think, you know, I did share my 2017 lessons and reflections on my Instagram. But for those of you who didn’t see that, basically, one of my reflections was just that I learnt the that the body really does want to heal. And of course, I already knew knew that. And that’s what I tell people all the time. But I think when it comes to your own health journey, it always takes a little bit longer to catch up and to realize that the things that you’re telling everyone else as a practitioner apply to you as well as I really the past kind of the two years previous to 2017. I, I basically went through quite a challenging time with my health, I put on a lot of way my hormones were all out of whack. I was very emotional, I had sleep issues. I was overtraining. And then I had to stop training altogether. And all these different things happened. And I was in a bit of a health rut for that period. And I I kind of chose that I needed to swallow my pride and just allow intuition to guide me and start that healing process and listen to my body not be too stubborn to change if things weren’t working, and to be really patient, because healing takes a lot of time. And it was really, I had to really kind of let go of a lot of things that I quote unquote, should have been doing. And just really prioritize putting myself first and it definitely paid off. I’ve been feeling very healthy for the last, I would say six months or so now. And I’ve gradually made my way back into an exercise program that is making me feel really good. And it is probably more than the average person exercises. But I’m supporting that with adequate sleep, good stress management, adequate nutrition. And I’m also still listening to my body in that if it doesn’t feel like you know, doing a certain exercise session then I weren’t skip it. But it took a really long time to kind of, to kind of learn that lesson. And also, I think something I shared that I’d like to share again on social media is that I think we often look at people who kind of seem to be 100% compliant with the diet and exercise and a lot of people screw up for, you know, their their fade and think like How the hell do you manage to stick to all that all the time. And you know, I don’t have that kind of discipline, or I’m not, I’m not that good. But really, I’m speaking from someone who is this person, for those people that are sticking to that seven day workout plan. And that really strict eating regime, it’s actually easier for them to do than it is to actually approach those two things from a from a point of balance. So don’t think that all they have so much more discipline, it’s just that the things they find easy to do are different to the things that you find easy to do. And I think on that note, another lesson that’s really kind of come through from it for me in the past it is that comparison really is the thief of all joy. And I think that the more we step away from comparison, and, and stop, you know, using that to guide our decision, though God our self worth, the happier we become, I don’t know, if you’ve, like, had a similar experience, Kate, and I think we even do it subconsciously sometimes. And I think the first step is actually becoming aware that, hey, I am comparing, and we’re all guilty of doing it. Sometimes it’s just a matter of catching yourself and, and stopping that thought process. 100% agree.

Kate Callaghan 10:26
And yeah, it’s it really is the thief of joy, it’s not going to get you anywhere, it’s just going to make you feel worse about yourself, and comparison and competition as well. So one of my big things in the past last year, and this year’s all is more focusing on collaboration, rather than competition, I think, especially in the health field, we can kind of see other women and other practitioners, you know, space as competition and that if they successful, and they’re going to have steal success from us, which is not the cases, success and abundance that everyone and you just need to trust your own journey and follow your own journey in your own path. And be authentic in yourself. And you’ll find your own tribe, and you don’t need to compete with others support them, and they’ll support you and the whole world will flourish.

Natalie K. Douglas 11:16
Yeah, I agree. And abundance mentality is definitely a really positive thing to have. And it makes you feel better to like it’s horrible, feeling scared and defense, like defensive and protective over stuff all the time, it’s much easier to just feel joy. And yeah, collaboration, as you said, and just on your kind of theme. You know, in that regard, my kind of mantra, at least for the last kind of six months or so has been trying to, to always choose love. So it might sound a bit corny, but what I mean by that is, you know, if you’re, I guess some examples that I gave on Instagram the other day would say a colleague dismisses your ID that you’ve been working on really hard or a friend attacks, a decision you’ve made to improve your health or your partner rejects your attempt to interest intimacy, or a family member passes judgment on how you’re raising your children. I guess for a lot of us, the first reaction is, is usually defensiveness or shutting down. And I don’t think either of those are very helpful for us, I think that it just leads to a lot of really horrible feelings that caught that kind of to stay with you. So my kind of, I guess approach to it was kind of asking myself, Well, what would love do in this situation. And in most of those situations, the reaction that you’ve been presented with is nothing to do with you. But it’s always our minds, kind of first reaction to think like, to me, I’ve done something wrong, there’s something you know, that I should have done differently. And I think that actually turning that around and realizing that you can choose love or forgiveness or you do have a chance to be vulnerable and express how you’re feeling. And therefore get that out and let that pass Creek has been really beneficial. So in a lot of my personal relationships, that’s been really helpful. So as opposed to feeling attacked and shutting down and, and internalizing my feelings, just actually speaking yet. And getting past that and realizing that, you know, it’s not about me all the time is has been really liberating.

Kate Callaghan 13:35
me to choose love over fear. Yes. Is what I live by myself. We need some of these bracelets. WWLD Yeah, what would Jesus do? But what would love do?

What would love do? Do they exist? All they probably do? Not really the most innovative person has been around?

Natalie K. Douglas 14:02
I swear I like five ideas the past like few weeks, and I’d be like, Oh my god, that’d be the best idea ever invented everything.

Kate Callaghan 14:09
What do you know? Do you want to know sidetracked what I invented like 10 years ago, and my friends laughed at me and said, that’s a stupid idea. Take your toaster. Oh, that’s cool.

Natalie K. Douglas 14:20
Does that exist? Now?

Kate Callaghan 14:23
It does no. And they sell for $400 each.

Natalie K. Douglas 14:25
You could have been I like?

Kate Callaghan 14:29
Yeah, even though I don’t really eat toast and that kind of thing. But I could have been a millionaire with it. I mean, I don’t understand why it wasn’t thought of before because you can see your toes cooking to that perfect. level. Oh, that’s actually a toast again, I kind of just

Natalie K. Douglas 14:47
want to eat toast so I can get one of those things now.

Kate Callaghan 14:50
Oh, look, I’m kicking myself, but I didn’t invent it.

Natalie K. Douglas 14:54
I mean, toast is really just a vehicle for badass or embodies Good for you. So maybe, maybe, to buy this $400 toaster.

Kate Callaghan 15:02
Yeah, well, no, that was actually my idea. I will, I will, I will probably sign your name on it for you. So to those of you who have a good innovation idea, just go and do it. Don’t listen to the naysayers. If it’s your idea, go and do it because someone else will if you don’t,

Natalie K. Douglas 15:20
it’s very true. Now speaking of the future, I think we should start to talk about our goals or our plans for 2018. Because I know that I’ve got some exciting things happening for me. And I’d really like to share them with everyone. And I know you’ve got some exciting things coming up too. So I thought maybe I’d go through, we’d go through business and personal plans or goals for 2018. So I might start with business goals. So business plan. So in my in health by whole foods for 2018, I’m definitely going to continue doing one on one consultations. And I’m also going to continue doing meal planning packages, which by the way, 20% off at the moment for another three to two days, two or three days. But let’s just go with two in case you missed out two or three more days. So definitely jump on to my Facebook page or Instagram and have a look at that deal that’s going on. And I’m also going to be developing a program over the next year. I’ll give you more details on that as it comes about. But for now just know that that is in the mix. And I also plan to keep up with my bookkeeping, because I was telling Kate before that I did a little bit of a lazy thing last year, and I still did my bookkeeping, it just didn’t really happen to maybe after it should have. So I definitely want to make sure that I stay on top of that. And I’m also continuing my study in your property. So my degree is in nutrition and diabetics, and I am fully qualified in that. But I am furthering my education in herbal medicine by doing natural pathy. So I’ll be continuing to do that. And then in terms of personal goals, I am going to be completing my yoga teacher training at the beginning of the sea. So starting in February, and that’s something I’ve really wanted to do for quite a while. And I guess it’s more for personal reasons than it is because I want to become a yoga teacher, I really, yoga is really transformed my life. Like specifically from the relationship I have with myself and spirituality, and all those kind of things. So I really want to deepen my practice and learn from the teachers that have taught me and change my life significantly. So that’s on the plan on on the schedule. I’m also planning a wedding, which is exciting. When is when is the date date? The date? November the 25th? So I’ve got quite a plan. And we’ve already booked the location. And I’m pretty relaxed. To be

Kate Callaghan 18:04
honest. I really do you know, all it matters is if you’ve got enough food, alcohol and good music.

Natalie K. Douglas 18:12
Yeah, well, I definitely think we’ll have that covered. I’m really not a very stressful person when it comes to that kind of thing. And I also think if like stuff goes on, like what, like it doesn’t even matter. Like, nothing really can go wrong. Like as long as he shows up. That’d be good. Yeah. I’m pretty, I’m pretty sure he’ll be there pretty sure. So we’ll go with that. I won’t panic about that one. And they’ll definitely be enough food and whatever. If there’s not I’ll just carry snacks in my bag.

Kate Callaghan 18:46
Other people not for you? Well,

Natalie K. Douglas 18:52
yeah, I should probably think about them too. But yeah, I’m excited about planning that. And I’m also coming to New Zealand. In a camper van, I’m going to bungee jump as well, which I’m really quite short. So being off the ground very high at all was already a bit scary. So that’s going to be interesting. My other kind of plans, like I have some financial goals. But I won’t go into detail with that. I also want to commit to not over committing, which sounds like a bit of a contradiction, given the fact that I just told you all of my plans, and there’s quite a few. But I feel surprisingly calm about it. And I’ve also created a way to actually manage that over of those commitments, so they are spread out. I’ve also decided to pull back on certain things while there’s other things going on. And I’m going to continue all my other goal is it is to continue with my normal, you know, eating well and exercising consistently and doing my stress management. So meditation, I do red light therapy as well. Lots of different things to actually help me stay healthy and happy through that process. So I’m feeling really excited by all of that that’s coming up. And yeah, it’s going to be a big year, but a very interesting year. Now, Kate, what about you what’s what’s happening in your world in 2018.

Kate Callaghan 20:25
I think 2018 is going to be awesome. So I’ve been working through Danielle ports desire map. So creating goals is all based on how you want to feel. So through a lot of scribbling down and soul searching. She talks about core desired feelings and basically goals and how you want to feel. So my core desired feelings. Courage, abundance, energized, passionate, authentic and joyous. So every goal I’ve created has to kind of lead me back to these core desired feelings. If they don’t, then they’re out. So he also said that I could only create like three or four goals because I’m a rebel. But all of these are, these are the big goals and big intentions that will kind of lead back into my smaller goals, I’ve got like four pages of things that I want to achieve in different areas of my life. So in my livelihood, my career in personal and creativity, spirituality, all sorts of things in my body, like my four big ones. So personally, I my big thing is to be present with laugh with and enjoy lots of cuddles with as and my children, as well as locking in time each week to spend with friends face to face, and also calling my friends overseas. So a lot of my friends are in Australia, so making that time to call them and not just in a message, but actually calling and sitting down and connecting with them. And another personal one is to nourish my body every single day with whole fresh foods and water and move in a variety of ways daily, because I know that movement makes me feel good. And so that’ll be combination of yoga weights of walking, of playing with the kids jumping around a little bit of everything. I want to continue to log and disseminate quality information on women’s health on my Facebook page and my Instagram page. And my website. And I say that all about women’s health. And I have a couple of speaking events that I would like to attend. And I’ll be reaching out to people and also letting you guys know more about them when they come around. And I have a big goal in Tara and to lead for women and in their business to grow their business to the level of what we call silver into terror, which will give them an extra $26,000 a year, roughly not not too shabby. And in that process will lead myself to the rank of diamond which is about $16,000 a month, which again, not too shabby. And this is this is a big goal for me. Because not only am I going to be helping helping to share these oils with the world and making people healthier. But having the this financial freedom will allow me to do everything else that I want to do in my life and travel and help to create all these materials and resources based on nutrition and training area that are going to help other people in other ways. So have that financial freedom, they’ll have that more flexibility to do these things. And then finally, I want to make to be working on already is publishing an updated edition of my book holistic nutrition, eat well train smart and be kind to your body.

Natalie K. Douglas 23:43
Awesome. That’s exciting.

Kate Callaghan 23:46
Thank you for you too. big, scary goals,

Natalie K. Douglas 23:49
but very exciting and all very achievable. And definitely in line with how you want to feel. So that’s awesome. I really like that. Whereabouts Can people actually get that? Yeah, the book.

Kate Callaghan 24:01
I think from me, I think I got it from Amazon, but you probably get it from book topia online the desire map. Danielle Laporte, it’s amazing.

Natalie K. Douglas 24:10
Awesome. Well, I’ll link to that in the show notes. Because that sounds like a really good thing. I think there’s a lot of power in writing down your goals, I really, I really love doing it. And I actually really think there’s power in like writing like literally pen to paper writing I don’t, I’m like when it comes to creative stuff. Even when I’m doing like business planning stuff, I always have to write first, like, I’m a great, I might put it into like a document at some stage because I chronically lose papers, but I will always scribble and write first I think that there’s Yeah, it’s it’s really important process. And I think just on the note of like, of doing goal setting and making plans for the future. I think like you said, basing it on how you want to feel is really good. And also making sure that you know, the goals that you’re writing down a goals for you and you really understand your why and that why needs to reflect what you want, not what you think other people want from you. So I think really take some time to, to think about that. And again, don’t compare yourself to other people. And don’t feel like you have to make really dramatic change in order to feel differently or created differently for yourself. If you’ve had a bit of a bad year and you want to transform, I think that it’s really important to actually know yourself. So when it comes to like health and nutrition goals, if you’re someone that doesn’t do very well, with really dramatic changes that are super restrictive all at once, then don’t do that, like that’s fine, like that works with some people, some people are black and white. And that type of approach that keeps them motivated and ensures that they reach their goals. And that’s what they really love to do. But other people, I would say a better kind of approach is setting some kind of realistic goals around each month. So January might be to quit sugar, and eat more vegetables. And February might be to obviously maintain the changes of January, but then also start to go to bed earlier and meditate every day and just lay out because I think that we are in a world that is very busy for a lot of us. And when we over commit ourselves to all these significant changes at once. It’s too easy to to kind of just give up. Because when you’re trying to form new habits, and there’s multiple habits you’re trying to form, it can be more challenging. Whereas if you create a habit and then just build on that habit, it makes it a little bit easier to maintain. So try not to get caught up too much in the it’s January 2018. You need to go on a detox and only lettuce and drink lemons. And you’re that kind of all or nothing approach if that’s not what works with you. And that’s not what resonates with you, I think really go into into your goal setting, knowing yourself and really trying not to think about other people’s expectations or other people’s goals.

Kate Callaghan 27:18
I used to be an all or nothing person. I’m not anymore. So for example, this year, one of my things is minimal caffeine rather than quit caffeine, okay. Then if I have some, like, You’re an idiot, why would you do that? Whereas I have liver issues good sometimes to have some. Like you allow yourself headspace. There’s less guilt.

Natalie K. Douglas 27:39
It’s funny you said that because like on New Year’s Eve, I was thinking, maybe I should quit coffee. And then I was like, then my other voices like but you like coffee? And oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I do like coffee. Sounds like, I’m not going to quit coffee in January, I might just aim to have it not day. That was my loose goal. I know your goals are supposed to be specific. But it’s actually like, you cater to my nature to be more black and white. And I can be that way in other areas. But more and more, sir, as I kind of get older. I’m moving away from that. And it is more of like a small realistic changes, because it’s just so much. I feel so much better, like

Kate Callaghan 28:23
more gentle. Yeah, yeah. And more realistic.

Natalie K. Douglas 28:27
Yeah, exactly. And so yeah, like you I’ve just kind of got when it comes to when it comes to health, especially for me, I try and kind of create more gradual, gentle goals, because it’s been in my nature to do the complete opposite for my whole life. And really, it hasn’t really gotten anywhere, anywhere except for pretty unhealthy a few times along the way. So I’m definitely trying a different approach. So that’s really funny. You said that.

Kate Callaghan 28:54
Yeah. Awesome. Yeah.

Natalie K. Douglas 28:56
All right. Any other kind of things that you wanted to make people aware of before we wrap up? So anything on the right off you at the moment,

Kate Callaghan 29:05
I am going to be running my next round of healing hypothalamic I’m going to get period back studying February.

Natalie K. Douglas 29:13
Excellent. And Can people where can people find that information?

Kate Callaghan 29:18
So here’s my website, the holistic nutritionist. com, navigate to the shop tab, and you’ll see that equals on the top left, I’m pretty sure it is click on that there’s lots of information there. Feel free to email me as well if you’re not sure if it’s right for you. So Kate at the holistic nutritionist calm,

Natalie K. Douglas 29:33
awesome. And for me, as I mentioned, at the moment, the meal planning packages are on sale, so 20% off. So basically, you can head to my website to get all of the details. And likewise, if you’re not sure if it’s right for you, please feel free to reach out. But it doesn’t really matter what your goal is whether it’s weight loss, whether it’s muscle gain, whether it’s performance, whether it’s balancing hormones, whether it’s fixing your thyroid, whether it’s fixing your adrenal, anything, it’s basically a personalized meal plan. With your goals in mind with foods you actually enjoy. We go through a personalized supplementation regime as well, if that’s required for you. There’s exercise recommendations based on your goals is stress management, support their sleep, hygiene education, there’s 24 seven email support. And there’s also weekly email check ins to help you stay motivated and accountable. So if you are feeling like you’ve got an intention, but you don’t really have a plan, then I definitely think it’s it’s something to consider because I know even personally that I’ve had a lot of success with following other people’s meal plans in the past because I find that even though I might know the information sometimes it’s just feels nice to be looked after and to be kept accountable and to feel motivated along the way so you can find that information on my website or email me at Natalie at health by Whole Foods calm today you. As always if you have any questions, please feel free to write into either of us and let us know so we can actually make the podcast continuously relevant to you. And if you feel like being extra lovely, then please feel free to rate and review the podcast on iTunes. It helps us reach more people as well. So Kate, have a lovely day and I will chat to you soon.

Kate Callaghan 31:30
Thanks, Matt. You too. Bye bye.